Me: So guess what Brittany asked me? "Should I bring clothes for church?"
Mom and Dad: AHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Oh. HA! No. We're all heathens here.
Dad: WHO TOOK OUT MY CHAMPAGNE?
Me: I did.
Dad: For what?
Me: I'm going to make mimosas.
Mom: WE HAVE NO SUGAR CUBES!
Me: Actually, I do but they're not for you.
Dad: Why do we need sugar cubes? Do you have the LSD?
Brittany: YOU'RE IN LUCK.
Dad: Nevermind. It's very bad for you.

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Me: We need flutes!
Mom: Who needs a glass when you have a straw.
Me: What if we mixed Sailor Jerry and champagne?
Mom: We could call it the Bubbly Sailor or Fancy Pirate. No, nevermind, don't touch the Sailor Jerry's it's mine.